Frankie

"Ha-Haaa!...yes yes yes...go Leafs go! Blue line - good pass - thank you very much, thank you... yes..."
   A rather oddly dressed man spoke quickly in high-pitched, nasal tones. He was sitting in the company lunch room, his eyes glued to an old, out of focus TV set hanging from the ceiling. Adjusting his square-rimmed glasses, he attempted to verify the tiny score in the corner.
   "The Leafs get a goal, Frankie?" Another voice interrupted his train of thought, so Frankie turned away from the screen momentarily.
   "Yes. LEAFS! Ha-haa!"
   Then Frankie strained his head forward in the direction of the voice and squinted through the thick optics of his glasses. "It's Don. Evening shift, 8 years seniority, supervisor of internal transport, divorced, Montreal fan...Ha-haa!"
   "Who's winning, then?" asked Don.
   "Leafs playing - don't know the score...Boston..." Frankie squinted a little harder at the TV. "Chicago...Leafs playing...Chicago." His hands flailed about in an apparent attempt to illustrate his answer.
   "Nice pants..." Don headed out onto the shop floor. Getting a straight answer out of Frankie was a challenge at the best of times, but when he was excited, it was next to impossible.
   "Thank you, thank you. Had 'em for years. Ha-ha-ha!"

   "Are you sure it can't be traced?" Sandra spoke in hushed tones, but apparently not hushed enough.
   "Shoosh!" Ken widened his eyes. "Frankie's just over in the corner..."
   Sandra took a sip from her paper coffee cup, and smiled. "Him? Even if you explained it all in detail, he still wouldn't catch on." She turned and spoke in a loud voice:
   "Hey, Frankie!"
   "Watching the game, Leafs playing..." Frankie was uncomfortable when any woman spoke to him, much less an attractive one. He kept his eyes on the TV screen as Sandra spoke.
   "I'm wearing lacy black panties...how would you like to get into them?"
   Frankie stopped to ponder the question. He looked serious for a moment, then smiled broadly.
   "No no no," he laughed, arms gesturing wildly, "Wouldn't fit, wouldn't fit...ha-haa! Sandra. 3rd floor Finance Administration...5 years, 3 months. Started as bosses secretary..."
   Sandra turned back to Ken, and smiled. "See - not a clue!"
   "All the same, " said Ken quietly, "he hears things and then repeats them. You know he remembers everything."
   Ken glanced down at his watch. It was 10:00 p.m. "Frankie. Don't you finish at nine?"
   "True, true, good point Ken. Hockey game. Leafs on tonight..." Frankie started to whistle to himself as Ken glared in his direction.
   "What's he do here, anyway?" Sandra whispered.
   "He's in shipping, or the mail room...or something. He's always on his computer, talking to himself."
   "Why is he here?"
   Ken paused, then barely audible: "Isn't he related to one of the owners? Someone once told me that he was a distant cousin of Richardson..."
   "...But Richardson's been gone for two years!"
   "I guess management feels sorry for him." Ken shrugged his shoulders. "Anyway, he's a freak, and I don't like him always hanging around. It's really creepy."
   There was a pause as Ken and Sandra stopped to study Frankie. Two tuffs of his hair poked out from an otherwise close cropped scalp. The same two rogues appeared day after day, but always in different locations. Often Sandra had wanted to take a pair of scissors and cut them off.
   The two pairs of eyes continued to watch the back of Frankie's head. He didn't seem to notice or care; the action on the TV had him mesmerized. Suddenly, Frankie held on to his glasses tightly with one hand, and waved the other wildly about. A boisterous home crowd roared through the TV's tinny speakers - somebody had scored a goal.
   Frankie clapped his hands gleefully together. "Yes yes yes. Ha-Haa! Good goal. Sundin from Berard. 13:23, 2nd period, 18 goals, 21 assists plus 4 - no plus 3 for Berard...go Leafs go..."
   Frankie spoke so fast, that Ken only caught every second word. He shook his head in dismay. Turning to Sandra, he grinned.
   "C'mon, let's go outside where we can talk."
   "Yes, we have to get this thing right." whispered Sandra, as they walked through the door, "There's only one shot at it."
   Frankie was once again alone with the TV. He smiled. "Richardson ...Vice President, New Products, early retirement, 22 years, 4 months and 9 days..."

   Don carefully lifted the cardboard lid, exposing a large, all-dressed pizza. Steam drifted upwards. He carefully grabbed a piece, and cradled it on a napkin.
   "Hot...hot. Hmm. Everybody - go ahead and grab a slice!"
   Hands reached in eagerly. Within moments there were only a few pieces of the pie left. The heavy smell of cheese soon hung in the air.
   "Well, folks," Don spoke up. "Here's to our latest success. The NND account will get us a firm hold in the Pacific rim. Our new Japanese partners are probably celebrating right now, as well...only on the opposite side of the planet."
   There was a few cheers, but the food was more important to most - big accounts never seemed to effect their salaries or positions. Sandra chanced a sly glance in Ken's direction. He didn't react.
   A pretty young blonde named Jennifer looked around the room as she ate. She was new to the company; still learning her job, and still learning the office politics. She motioned towards Frankie sitting in the corner all by himself.
   "Who's that?"
   "That's Frankie," someone muttered through a mouthful of pizza, "he's a little on the strange side..."
   "Why, what's wrong with him?"
   Everybody laughed. Don turned and spoke to Jennifer privately.
   "He's not retarded, or anything. He can remember facts and figures for years, and he can do fantastic math calculations in his head. It's just that...well...he doesn't understand social situations. Oh, and don't tell him anything personal about yourself - not if you want it to actually remain personal!"
   Jennifer studied Frankie for a few seconds. He squinted in her general direction, all the while talking to himself.
   "He sure is a funny-looking guy."
   "Do you want to meet him?" Sandra grinned mischievously, and looked at the others for their reactions. There was a snicker or two.
   "Hey, FRANKIE!" Sandra raised her voice above the casual conversations.
   Frankie immediately jumped up, and rushed over to join the group. He had a very distinctive walk. Falling in the general direction he wished to go, Frankie would quickly shuffle his feet forward to prevent himself from completely toppling over. He got where he wanted to in a hurry.
   "Ha-ha! Yes yes yes...pizza-pepperoni-mushroom-salami-green pepper. Came at 4:30 from Pizza World. Party size. 20 pieces, 18 people - 2 pieces left over..."
   "Would you like some..." Jennifer started to offer, but Frankie was already helping himself.
   With flying particles of food emphasizing his speech, Frankie turned to Sandra.
   "Hi Sandra, good to see you, thanks for the pizza, wearing lacy black panties, too small for me. Ha-ha-ha!"
   Everyone turned to stare at Sandra. She started to turn red, but managed an embarrassed laugh. She looked over at Ken, who had a huge grin on his face; a grin that said: 'It serves you right'.
   In a desperate attempt to change the subject, Sandra pointed towards Jennifer.
   "Frankie. Have you met Jennifer? She works in product development."
   Frankie offered up a soft, puffy white hand, and Jennifer shook it. "Nice to meet you, Frankie."
   "Hello! Jennifer, yes. Nice to meet you, yes yes..." Frankie squirmed and twisted as he stood there in his nervousness. It looked for all the world like he had to relieve himself. "Yes yes yes. Do you wear lacy black panties, too?"
  

   It was dark outside, but Sandra and Ken entered the building through the back door. They were both authorized to be there; they just didn't want to talk to anyone. This was it, the night they had been waiting for.
   Not a word was spoken as they climbed up the back stairway to the fifth floor. Sandra glanced down the corridor to the glass enclosed computer rooms. A look of disgust crept over her face.
   "Oh, shit..." she whispered, "Frankie's still here."
   "And there's no hockey game on to keep him quiet." added Ken.
   They quickly moved towards the first room, and ducked in. Each sat down at a computer terminal adjacent to the other. Sandra looked up at Ken.
   "I don't think he saw us...otherwise, he'd be in here asking about my panties!"
   Ken was already logging on to his terminal.
   "Hmm..." he muttered, "Frankie's the last thing I need to worry about now - what's the floating password for 'International Funds'?"
   "Eight...six...zero...five...five...nine...zero...three...eight." replied Sandra.
   Ken read the numbers back as he typed them in. His monitor flashed.
   "Okay!" Ken shifted in his seat. "Now, in approximately five minutes, your screen will ask for a series of random numbers. Read them carefully back to me. If we get one digit wrong, the floating password will change, and all that lovely money will go to it's rightful owners in Japan..."
   "...And that would be a such shame, considering what you and I could do with over a million dollars!" laughed Sandra.
   They both waited in silence, neither one wanting to jinx the moment by talking. There was less than a minute until midnight now. Both their hearts were pounding...
   "Hello!...Sandra and Ken, working late, working late on the computer, almost 12:00 o'clock, almost midnight. Sandra with lacy black panties on. Ha-Haaa!"
   It was Frankie. Sandra immediately hit the 'esc' button on her computer. The screen was now blank. She glanced over at Ken, and his face said it all.
   It was over.
   Frankie had no idea that two peoples' dreams had just been destroyed by the timing of his arrival. He was genuinely happy to spend a few moments with a few of his co-workers. Ken put his head down on the desk as Frankie spoke:
   "About to go home...saw you come in. Had to say hello - Hello!" He whistled happily away to himself.
   Sandra wasn't listening. She was too busy trying to figure out if they'd left any incriminating evidence on the computer, The opportunity had passed, but if anybody found out what they were trying to do...
   Sandra glared at Frankie. "Shut up, you moron!" She then turned off the terminal, and left the room.
   Ken slowly looked up at a very confused Frankie. He stood up, and walked past Frankie, patting him gently on the back.
   "Thanks for dropping in, Frankie."
  

   "Did you hear?" Wendy was beside herself with the latest scandal. "The cops are here, and everything..."
   "No...what?" Ken tried to sound uninterested, but his heart was beating wildly. He put his clipboard down, and turned to face the high-pitched voice.
   "A lot of money disappeared. Paul over in accounting says that it was a computer crime...and there's no way to trace it. Can you believe it - over 1.2 million is missing!"
   Ken's jaw dropped. This must be some kind of joke, he thought. They didn't take the money - it couldn't be missing.
   "Wow. What are the cops going do? Who do they suspect?"
   "I don't know yet, but isn't this awful?" Wendy looked over Ken's shoulders and waved. "Hey, Frankie! Did you hear the news?"
   Ken turned to see that familiar ear-to-ear grin on Frankie as he waved and gestured his way across the floor. Not now, he thought. But he smiled politely, realizing he couldn't prevent Frankie from joining them.
   "Wendy, always a pleasure...Wendy the receptionist. Ha-haa! Good to see you..." Frankie shifted excitedly from one foot to another while he stood beside Ken.
   "Morning, Frankie. Wendy was just telling us the shocking news."
   "Oh, yes yes. Isn't it great..."
   "What?" Wendy stared at Frankie.
   Frankie started to get nervous, so he naturally spoke faster. "New shipment of disks, high density, 2.2 megabytes, 12 per box, 24 boxes..."
   Ken grinned.
   "No, you idiot," Wendy rolled her eyes, "The big crime...the theft!"
   Frankie looked horrified for a few moments. "No no no...I checked. The disks are still there."
   "Aaughh...STUPID!" Wendy turned abruptly and stomped off to find somebody else to gossip with.
   "Don't worry, Frankie." said Ken reassuringly, "She's a little high-strung."
   "I know, I know. Ha-ha! Hard to talk to Wendy, hard to talk to very excitable...excitable, worried for nothing, disks are fine."
   Ken smiled briefly at the irony of Frankie's outburst. But his mind was already starting to wander. What had happened last night? He wracked his memory for any clue; for any forgotten detail. Could it be that someone knew of their plans? Was this a cruel trick to see how they'd react? Ken realized that Frankie was still staring at him.
   "Listen, Frankie..." He was trying to be patient. "The company has been robbed. It was a computer crime. Do you understand? Money was taken - 1.2 million dollars. The thieves got away clean."
   Frankie seemed temporarily at a loss. He stared at his feet for awhile.
   "Bad bad bad." he muttered.
   "Yes, It is bad." Ken wanted to end the conversation. "But, hey - the disks are okay. Right, buddy?"
   Ken patted him on the back, and walked away, leaving Frankie alone in the middle of the shop floor. He was uncharacteristically quiet, looking slowly around the busy shop.
   Then Frankie spoke in a quiet, but deliberate voice:
   "One million, two hundred thousand, six hundred and seventy-two dollars...and fourty-two cents, to be precise. Gone. No paper trails. In an off-shore account in the Cayman Islands. Gone..."
   He smiled to himself. "...Go Leafs, go!"